Pretending in a virtual world

shoot 1 final

Pretending is such hard work. I get the feeling that even though second life is a virtual land where you can do anything you want to do, there is a lot of pretending is going on. I don’t mean fantasy or role-play,  I mean doing things that actually don’t feel good to you, because it’s not you, not even a pretend you. It’s more like, you’re in a virtual world, and you can do, be, have anything you want, yet you spend your time upholding someone else’s idea’s or thoughts on what’s hot and what’s not. When shopping, I find myself in a trance of spending and buying things I don’t even like, but I know someone else likes it, so it’s what I should buy. I do think that if I dressed the way I actually wanted to in SL, people would think I was boring. I wouldn’t be considered “hot”. I’ve always held that title, even when I was a noob. My second life girlfriends always said my av was so pretty and I’ve heard so many times that I have the hottest av some guys have ever seen.

Well that’s easy. I’m good at making blasian shapes (black & Asian). Combine that with a desire to only use quality items and move towards every new item I want relentlessly until I have it. Toss in a dash of knowing what others think is hot and bam. I have a timelessly hot avatar. The funny thing is I don’t know anything about fashion. In fact that’s one of the reasons I use others’ opinions as a gauge  because I don’t know what looks amazing with what. In fact, half the time I see the outfits put together on most of the blogs I read, I don’t see what’s great about it. I’m happy that SL is an amazing outlet for creativity to ones boundless imagination. But I just don’t get it. Fashion isn’t one of my area’s of excellence.

Being called hot and pretty for so long has apparently gone to my head, but not in the way you imagine. Somehow along the way an invisible threat of losing that imaginary title appeared on the horizon of my conscious mind. So mindless fun shopping became buying things I don’t like or understand simply to stay current, now and what’s it. When I become conscious enough, I realize I’ve just spent a lot of Lindens on things I’ll never wear. Now it happens every time I go shopping. There is now this unfounded pressure when deciding on a new outfit. The thing is, I know so many women around me are feeling the exact same thing.

I have become a snob over the years in preferring items of high quality, whatever that means. When I see someone wearing outdated items (last month) I immediately put them into a box. If it’s a man, unless he’s persistent, he goes in the “no way” box. I don’t know when I became this person. Its all totally pointless and irrelevant. Being visual is one thing, but this moves into judgement which means I’m judging myself for something… maybe my lack of “style” (interesting point of view). The funny thing is everyone is different, so when go with what everyone else thinks, that simply means those who create fashion trends in SL and those who blog about them. That is a very small percentage of the SL community.

Things come in and out of style so fast in SL, it feels impossible to keep up without a very large, well managed inventory or steep pockets. I do have a large inventory, but it isn’t well managed. And of course, I don’t have steep pockets as we learned from my last post.

I’m pretending that I’m stylish, I’m now, I’m fashion, I’m too good “looking” to date some of you, and I can afford to keep looking this good.

log 1 final

I’m pretending that I’m secure and what you think doesn’t matter. I’m pretending I’m totally fine posting this. I’m pretending that I know the guy I’m seeing will be fine with the “real” virtual me.

Insecurity is most likely at the surface of this trend. What is there to be insecure about when “nobody knows your name” and who cares. Pretending is really tiring.

Question of the day: Why is it okay for guys in SL to wear the same outfit for months at a time? Yet girls go out of their way to have a new fresh look everyday, especially when their seeing a guy?

Mood:

And to save time later I’ll list what I’m wearing:

Hair: EMO-tions – Memory – black

Dress: Maitreya – Mesh Nolita Dress – Red

Handbag: Tuty’s – Mesh Pet Carrier – Chiwawa

Umbrella: What’s next – Rainy Day’s – Pose 1 Umbrella

Glasses: Je suis – charmante – pinks

Ring: Ben’s Beauty – Athena Solitaire Ring

Nails: MStyle Long Nails v2 – Night in Moscow